I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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