So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
