Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize