Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
