why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
