I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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