You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
