Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
