I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
