margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
