he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
