His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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