walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize