the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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