Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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