no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
