can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
