Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
