We're facebook friends in real life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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