WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize