no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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