Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize