wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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