Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
