y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
