I hate all girls vehemently.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
