That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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