Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
