Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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