I wish i was in the wii world.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
