the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
