Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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