so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
