Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
