you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize