All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
