5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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