Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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