I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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