I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize