Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
