i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
