so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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