Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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