i just wanna soil my oats bro
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
