google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
