Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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