brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize