so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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