You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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