Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
