So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
