i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
