hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
