No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
