By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
