so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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