the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
