That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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