chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
