was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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