Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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