My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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