i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
