I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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