grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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