never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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