please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
