Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
